Work’s been busy lately (well, it’s always busy but I’ve chosen to let it occupy me more often) so I have been neglecting my entries into this digital space of “0’s” and “1’s.”

Saturday: I went to a dear friend’s birthday party. He’s a German fellow who turned 70 last week. It was a night of many firsts for me. I had schnitzel, spaetzle, and red cabbage for the first time. If you haven’t guessed it yet, it’s traditional German food (pork chops, German noodles, and red cabbage). It was also the first time I hung out with more than 16 girls, or nurses at once. Yes, these nurses are the ones from the dialysis unit at which I volunteer. Lastly, it was also the first time I danced to polka. Yup, polka (or something that very, closely resembles polka). I honestly did NOT want to dance to polka but when you have all your peers pressuring you and pulling you up to the dance floor… I had no choice but to dance to polka. Sadly it was caught on tape and photographed as well. Peter, I did it because it was your birthday! It was nice to dress up though; and I don’t get many chances for that lately.

I’ve been on dates with five different girls this year, and to this day, the ones that I enjoy the most are the ones that were spent with my ex, H. I still feel like I can’t escape the past. It clings to me like a festering wound, sucking the life out of me at times. Sometimes I can live with the present but at other times, I totally despise it. I could give the character Chow Mo Wan (“2046″) a run for his money/sorrow. Well… maybe not but pretty damn close.

So here I am, stuck in the past, agonizing in the present, and the future being nothing more than forlorn hope.

Yes, perhaps I’m on one of my down cycles again. For the last time? Probably not…